Illustrations
by LadyHeatherlly
Summary: A series of drabbles exploring Loki's definitive moments in Thor, The Avengers, and Thor: The Dark World. Just an experiment to see how well I capture his character before I decide whether or not I'd like to write something longer.
1. Suspicion

**Fandom:** Marvel Films  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 335

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**Suspicion**

Loki's first impression of the barren wasteland of Jotunheim was that it was freezing. That came as no surprise, of course; the shock was in finding himself unaffected by the harsh climate. He felt warm, perfectly comfortable… well, as comfortable as anyone could be while on the verge of confronting a horde of angry Frost Giants.

Meanwhile, his companions said not a word about the frigid temperature, but it was apparent in the way Sif wrapped her arms around herself when she thought no one was looking, there in the slight tremble of Thor's body, an involuntary reaction that had nothing to do with fear. They were affected while he was not… but why?

Absurd for his thoughts to be consumed by such an inconsequential matter, particularly under such perilous circumstances. Nonetheless, Loki couldn't help himself. Even during the confrontation with Laufey, when life or death rested in the balance, the mystery tickled at the edges of his consciousness, almost as if he already knew the answer but simply couldn't put a name to it.

Suddenly, it hit him: _Magic_. Of course! That made perfect sense. And even better, it seemed that for once, the powers bestowed upon him by his mother provided a distinct advantage over Thor's brute strength. Relieved and admittedly a touch gratified by the thought, he nearly smiled as his brother responded to a particularly cold gust of wind with a noticeable shiver.

But then the smile faded before it could ever touch his lips, for what swiftly followed was a peculiar glance from Laufey that had nothing to do with magic. A handful of special powers couldn't explain away the cryptic remarks that shook him to his core, nor could it justify the feeling that should he survive this day, his life would never be the same.

It was there on that frigid breeze, whispers of a fate as yet unknown… a destiny that Loki wasn't quite sure he was ready to face.


	2. Adoration

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 394

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**Adoration**

A familiar, sinister voice reveled in Thor's shame, murmuring of the limitless possibility that was suddenly within Loki's grasp. Oh yes, the change was palpable, unmistakable in the hot fury in their father's eyes as he raged at his favorite son. And it was there in Loki's own weak protest, one he knew to be futile before it ever escaped his lips.

_Let it happen,_ the voice urged, the softest of whispers compared with Odin's furious shout. _Be silent… this is for the best._

How many times had he longed for a chance like this, a shining moment where he might step out of Thor's seemingly impenetrable shadow and claim the admiration that should've been his? For how many years had he dreamed of an opportunity to prove his worth, to show Asgard that he'd make a fine ruler… far better than his brash, unthinking brother?

_Let it happen._

Silently, Loki watched the tragic scene unfold, refusing to ask himself whether pleas for clemency would make a difference. Why should it matter that Thor's eyes, much like his own, were filled with tears when he was cast into the void? And why did Loki have to bite back a final protest that sprung to his lips, or wonder how his brother was supposed to survive such a brutal blow?

Banished. Friendless. Stripped of all his powers? These things should be of no consequence… not when Thor's downfall opened a clear path to Loki's own ambition.

But it wasn't a throne Loki pictured in the aftermath, nor even the glorious vision of his future subjects prostrate before him. All he could see was his brother's eyes… helpless and terrified, like a wounded animal who suffers yet doesn't understand the reason for its pain. Those same eyes, once filled with innocence, laughter, warm affection… a gentle, trusting gaze that would never be directed at Loki again.

No, this was the only way, regrettable but necessary in order to shield Asgard from a king ruled by mindless arrogance and a foul temper. Thor had brought this punishment on himself… deserved worse, truth be told, considering how many lives he'd already put at risk. Loki should feel gratified… relieved… overjoyed.

But strangely enough, all he knew in that moment was that he'd forever feel the loss of those eyes.


	3. Curiosity

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 347

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**Curiosity**

Taking a deep breath, Loki crept toward The Casket of Ancient Winters, disregarding any thought of the consequences to follow. None of that mattered – for all that he was a master at deceiving others, he'd always possessed an insatiable hunger for the truth as it applied to himself.

Hunger? No... at the moment, it was much more than that – a wretched, starving thing that clawed at him from the inside until there were but two options open to him. Yes, he would either know the truth or be forced to surrender to a swift descent into madness.

The idea of handling the relic didn't frighten Loki. It was no threat to him as it would be to other Asgardians, wouldn't sap his strength or rob him of his magic. In retrospect, he hadn't needed to be touched by a Frost Giant to know that, nor to see the skin of his arm turn a sickly shade of blue. He'd always known he was different. The only change since Jotunheim was having a solid foundation from which to ask the questions that had been on the tip of his tongue for years beyond counting.

From the moment he touched it, The Casket of Ancient Winters felt right beneath his fingers, its unearthly glow beckoning him to discover all the secrets that lay within. _ Power,_ it whispered, in a cadence much like an icy wind whistling through barren trees. _ Your essence… your birthright…_

Loki might've been drawn in by those words, sweet and beguiling, were it not for the transformation that accompanied them. He recognized it this time, acknowledging the subtle pulse of energy that passed over his skin without needing to look down to see what color it was.

He felt the presence behind him, too; even Odin rarely had the ability to sneak up on Loki unawares. A hundred questions… a thousand… but suddenly, only one that seemed to matter as he turned to face the man he'd always believed to be his father.

"Am I cursed?"


	4. Heartbreak

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 352

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**Heartbreak**

"What am I?"

"You're my son."

Those were the words that hurt Loki most… the illusion, not the reality.

Learning he was the abandoned offspring of a Frost Giant? Well, that was hard to swallow. But confronting his real identity, however repugnant, was almost a relief compared to the nameless suspicions that had plagued him throughout his life. Certainly easier than dealing with Odin, who still insisted on speaking to him as a father while confirming the lie for what it was.

"You could've told me what I was from the beginning. Why didn't you?"

Odin had wanted to protect Loki, or so he claimed. But every measure of "protection" now seemed like a needless act of cruelty. Magic to disguise Loki's appearance, ugly and vile in its natural state. Empty promises to placate a second son, never to be fulfilled when that "son" was merely the unwanted child of a despised enemy. And most of all, raising Loki in an environment where he was taught to react to his own kind – _himself_ – with hatred, fear, and disgust? Where was the "protection" in that?

Whatever Odin was, he wasn't a fool. He'd known that the truth would come out sooner or later. Indeed, he'd planned on revealing it himself someday, using Loki as an instrument to forge an alliance between the realms. With that much foresight, had he not considered how much Loki would suffer in the process, the adopted son he claimed to love? Or did the ends justify the means, one shattered heart being a small price to pay for lasting peace?

The old king believed compassion had prompted him to rescue the child of his nemesis, that mercy had led him to conceal the truth and raise him as his own. But whatever love he'd felt had been coupled with selfishness, ignoring countless ways he could've spared Loki at least some of the pain he was feeling now. How was it possible to forgive in the face of that?

It wasn't… especially when Odin never bothered to apologize.


	5. Pride

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K  
**Word Count:** 381

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**Pride**

"Until Odin awakens, Asgard is yours."

At first, Loki could only stare at the man kneeling at his feet, frozen, almost hypnotized by the glittering spear that rested in his outstretched hands. Gungnir… how many times had he gazed at it in awe? A sacred thing, possessed of untold power, a weapon he'd not even been allowed to touch, much less dream of claiming for his own.

"The line of succession passes to you."

And that was another dream, a frail, distant hope that had been crushed to bits by the exposure of his true identity. But he wasn't really powerless, was he? Through his deception, Odin had granted him a certain birthright… one that in the end, couldn't be snatched away so easily. No, because Loki wouldn't allow it to be.

Still, he might have doubted himself were it not for the faith in Frigga's eyes. Unlike Odin, her intentions were pure, her love given without a hint of reservation. He believed every word she said simply because she did… because he was desperate for reassurance… because he hungered to prove he was worthy, much more so than the adopted brother who'd always taken kingship for granted.

Holding his breath, he reached out and took Gungnir in his hands, nearly gasping in awestruck pleasure as the power fairly thrummed through his body. Yes, this was exactly as it should be. Soon, they would all understand just how wrong they'd been to discount him in favor of Thor. He would be a great king, strict but fair, exhibiting wisdom and forethought in all his words and deeds. Then they would see what he was capable of, eyes shining with admiration and the deepest respect… almost, but not quite managing to disguise their underlying shame.

And from one more than any other, that reflection would heal a lifetime of pain and violated trust. To have Odin look at him that way just once would put the sins of the past to rest, allowing for the forgiveness that deep down, Loki longed for above all other things.

"Make your father proud," Frigga whispered, with that uncanny way she had of sensing the direction of his thoughts.

Yes… that was exactly what he intended to do.


	6. Contempt

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 369

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**Contempt**

"You can bring your urgent matter to me… your king."

Sif and the Warriors Three looked dumbfounded as they went down on their knees. Loki could've forgiven that… after all, even he was still stunned to find himself in his current position. But though their bowed heads insisted otherwise, there was no respect in their eyes, none of the reverence that should now be his by right. That could not be disregarded so easily.

"My king," Sif said after a moment, in a voice that was positively dripping with false humility. "We would ask that you end Thor's banishment."

Oh, that was rich. Despite everything, they still thought the arrogant fool deserved to sit on the throne of Asgard? Not only that, but they had the audacity to suggest that Loki supplant _himself_ in the process? For surely that was the goal here – far from simply missing their old friend, they wanted to see him restored to the birthright he'd always taken for granted. And once again, they thought Loki was just going to step aside and let that happen.

Upon that thought, he was assaulted by a hundred memories – dismissive looks and careless jests, his brother's name on everyone's lips as the hero, even though neither Thor or the idiots kneeling in front of him would've survived without the help of Loki's "silly little magic tricks." They'd treated him like some lesser being, his wit and intelligence of no consequence compared with their brute strength. And until now, he'd had no choice but to accept it.

"My first command cannot be to undo the Allfather's last." His refusal was given with a great deal of relish, though he tried not to sound _too_ smug as he stared down into their horrified faces. That was followed by some pretty words about Asgard being on the brink of war, and the people needing a sense of continuity to feel safe… all of which he meant, of course. But in the end, nothing felt as good as being able to order them out of his sight.

After all, he was their king now… and they had no choice but to accept it.


	7. Denial

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 247

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**Denial**

It was a harsh action to take. Even Loki couldn't pretend that it wasn't.

Alas, there was no choice but to visit Midgard and inform Thor that their father was dead… followed by the unfortunate necessity of telling him that their mother had forbidden his return. Soon enough, his brother was openly weeping, apologizing in a choked voice, even thanking Loki for coming. Poor, simpleminded Thor. There was so much pain in his eyes that Loki hesitated, searching for an alternative to the lies that had sprung from his lips. He couldn't allow Thor to return to Asgard, of course… but was it necessary to be so brutal?

Yes. Yes, it was.

Yes… Loki was king now. He couldn't allow his sympathies to affect his judgment. And in the long run, this was for the best… for the realm, perhaps even for Thor himself once he'd come to terms with his grief and disappointment. A clean break was a mercy, the kindest thing Loki could've done under the circumstances.

In the days that followed, he'd cling to that belief whenever he remembered those blue eyes, bewildered and wet with tears. _Yes,_ his conscience would insist if he found himself missing the sound of his brother's boisterous laughter. _It was the only possible solution, and no more than Thor deserved._

Thankfully, it wasn't long before the last faint traces of guilt were silenced. After all, there was no point in regretting the unavoidable.


	8. Tenderness

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 394

* * *

**Tenderness**

"Loki, you saved him!"

In the wake of madness… peace.

This was the only place he felt it, clasped tight in his mother's embrace. As long as he was here, it didn't matter that he'd organized the attack that had nearly gotten Odin killed, only that he'd stopped it. He could sense her gratitude in the way she trembled in his arms, feel her love surrounding him without a trace of doubt or reservation.

Yes, whatever he'd done had been worth it just to be here, to be the hero she (if no one else) had always seen in him. Beloved Frigga. Perhaps not his mother in truth, but did it really matter?

In that single, perfect moment, Loki saw the future as it could be. Himself as the cherished son, the _only_ son, devoting his life to making both his parents proud, proving that he was indeed worthy of the throne that had come to him through a twist of fate. He could do it… indeed, wanted it desperately if for no other reason than to feel this warm glow of admiration and acceptance. Peace… perhaps that feeling could be permanent, not only found in fleeting moments like this.

"I swear to you, Mother," he promised with unquestionable sincerity, "that they will pay for what they've done here today."

Yes… for a single breath, the span of a heartbeat, the world was exactly as he wished it to be.

"_Loki!_"

And then the illusion was gone, smashed to bits by the last voice he wanted to hear. There was Thor, blue eyes blazing with fury… and there was Frigga, rushing to embrace her newly returned son with a cry of delight.

Cast back into the shadows, Loki felt the loss of her, deprived of warmth and solace like a frigid winter night descending to blot out the gentle afternoon sunshine. But no… he'd come too close… everything he'd ever wanted had been right there within his grasp. Vindication. Power. Love. And all of that without competition, free from the comparisons he'd endured throughout his life that had always found him lacking. He'd known what it was to come first, and deservedly so. Nobody could say he hadn't earned it.

And now that it was his, he had no intention of letting it go.


	9. Longing

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** Thor  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 392

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**Longing**

So it had come to this – a crucial moment that seemed frozen in time. The deception had been exposed, resulting in a vicious battle of wills that had left both Thor and Loki clinging to the edge of the shattered Bifrost. With nothing else standing between him and oblivion, the one who'd been responsible for this chaos gazed up at his father, frightened and desperate for approval.

"I could've done it, Father! For you! For all of us!"

Odin stared down into his son's face, wondering how Loki could still look so innocent after everything he'd done. Despite all the centuries that had passed, his expression was exactly the same as that of the infant he'd once been. Begging for love, pleading for mercy, starved for the chance to prove his worth.

Had Odin rescued the child simply because he hoped to unite the realms someday? That was what he'd told himself when he'd decided to raise Loki as his own. But in truth, it had been the need in those eyes that had motivated him more than anything else, so blatant even when Loki had been far too young to know what it was he hungered for.

Unfortunately, that hunger had never been sated. Instead, it had grown into something bordering on madness, a ravenous appetite that threatened to devour them all. Was it Odin's fault? Had it been folly to hide the truth for so long, pride and affection leading him to make promises that could never be fulfilled? Or had Loki been doomed from the start by Laufey, irreparably damaged by the father who'd forsaken him?

In the end, these questions were pointless, having no effect on the final outcome. For like Laufey, Odin was about to turn his back on his son.

But Laufey's choice had been selfish, while Odin's was unavoidable. Loki was no longer a child who'd been cast out to die through no fault of his own. No, he was a grown man who'd endangered hundreds of innocent lives in his obsessive need for validation. This wasn't the time for forgiveness, to extend mercy or surrender to the love Odin still held in his heart for the boy.

No, this was the time for consequences… even if that meant destroying the last glimmer of hope in those pleading eyes.


	10. Fury

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** The Avengers  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 387

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**Fury**

They'd always underestimated him.

He'd seen that look on their faces when he'd fallen into the void. And although their grief had been gratifying on some level, it had also been an insult. Poor Loki, a feeble shadow compared with his glorious brother. How could he be expected to survive a headlong plummet through space?

Oh, but he had. Not that they'd bothered to look for him. Only Frigga had done that, as he'd known she would.

"It's not a good time to talk," he'd told her when she'd come to him in an illusion. Regrettable, but one day soon, she'd understand. As for Odin and Thor? Hang them both. Gone were the days of longing for their approval, forever hungering for a place of importance in their world. What was Asgard anyway? Just one realm, far more insignificant than he'd ever realized in the grand scheme of the universe.

Indeed, he could no longer regret his past failures. How else could he have found his way to this place? True, it was cold, barren, nowhere he'd like to stay for long. But it was also where he'd discovered the Chitauri, a legion of allies who'd soon be his to command.

That had been promised to him by The Other, a mighty army in exchange for the relic he'd agreed to retrieve from Midgard. He had only to deliver the Tesseract, a magnificent source of power which lent its strength to the mighty scepter he'd been gifted to help further his ends.

Soon enough, Loki would claim his place as the ruler of Midgard, a corrupted planet which knew nothing but warfare and bloodshed. Humanity would be under his control, finding him the soul of benevolence as long as they bent to his authority. He'd be their king, their peacemaker, their god… then and only then, Odin would see what he was truly capable of. Yes, and no doubt the old king would regret elevating the feebleminded Thor above the adopted son who'd proven himself a far better leader than his firstborn could ever hope to be.

Oh yes, the reckoning was at hand, the taste of triumph already sweet on Loki's tongue. This was his birthright, his destiny, his glorious purpose…

And this time? Oh, this time he would not fail.


	11. Euphoria

**Fandom:** Marvel Movies  
**Movie:** The Avengers  
**Characters/Pairings:** Loki  
**Rating/Warnings:** K+  
**Word Count:** 339

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**Euphoria**

The crowd of mortals fled before Loki like helpless animals, their world turned upside down by just the slightest hint of the power he possessed. Oh yes… this was his birthright, his glorious purpose, reflected back at him from hundreds of pairs of awestruck eyes. They didn't defy him, didn't question his authority as he brought them to a standstill. A simple command of, "kneel" and they were his for the taking.

"It is the unspoken truth of humanity that you crave subjugation…"

Loki held no contempt for their inferiority; he adored them for it. Weak, simple creatures that they were, they still recognized what the Asgardians had not. They saw him for what he truly was, understood that it was his inalienable right to lead and their place to obey without question. No trickery with these mortals, no unnecessary defiance. Only an almost palpable eagerness to show him the respect that was his due.

If that respect was born of terror, well, that was only natural. They were completely at his mercy and were smart enough to know it; they did not yet understand the glorious future he had planned for them. But soon… oh yes, soon they would discover the true nature of their ruler, would worship him as a benevolent god when he put an end to the chaos they created amongst themselves. No more war, no more greed or corruption… he would replace all that with an everlasting peace that would make humble Midgard the most glorious of all the nine realms.

He was practically drunk on that future triumph, filled with anticipation as he spoke to them of his grandiose plans. In that brief, shining moment, his world ceased to be what it was and became everything he'd always wanted it to be.

Of course, that feeling couldn't last… this battle was never meant to be won so easily. But for a handful of breaths, a few tremulous heartbeats, Loki knew what it was to taste perfection.


End file.
